Marine Corps Moms: What NOT to say to a Marine wife

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May 03, 2006

What NOT to say to a Marine wife

Life after retirement brings adjustments for most couples, but military retirement has unique challenges. One of my favorite writers, Diana Hartman Culture Editor for Blogcritics and outspoken Marine wife, has this to say on the frustrations of finding a place to call home after the Corps. They'd hoped to land in Kansas where she has strong ties. But then, she ran up against the roadblock of the Kansas higher education system. Do read her essay - it's an excellent reminder of just one of the many sacrifices that military families make. And the doors that remain closed for them.

Dissimilarly, there was that minor issue with Senator Sam Brownback's office. The person who had been briefed of my situation before taking my call had an observation to make once she took the call and then hung up without answering the question, "What is your name?" She said something we military spouses everywhere loathe to hear. It has been bad enough to hear it from civilians over the years, most especially from distant and insensitive boofs from my own family, but to have heard it from my Senator's office was a bit too much.

"Well," she said. "You chose that life."

Yes, I did. I'm not sure what in the Sam Hill that has to do with the price of tea in China, but yes, Mr Brownback's voicebox, you are correct. My husband chose to join the Marine Corps and I chose to marry him.

Let us eat cake. Or, in this case, wheat.

Ouch.

Posted by Deb at May 3, 2006 01:01 PM

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Comments

We had a similiar experience moving back to Virginia where we own a home. We were not considered Va. residents. At that particular time, there was no consideration given to military families (there is now but not then). With three children going to Va. schools within the next year, we had to become residents and quickly.
Nightmarish experiences at the DMV. Ridiculous hoops to jump through.
At some point, my husband lost it and asked some bureaucrat if she had a "support the troops" sign up in her office or on her car. She said yes and he told her to take it down because she damned well didn't mean it.
I really feel for Diana. God help the person that makes that kind of a remark to me. I'll be on the evening news.

Posted by: Carrie at May 4, 2006 04:39 AM

Thank you for this post. I just emailed Brownback's office and asked for the name of the aid who's 'pithy reply' I was reading here. Then I asked why she was still employed. Last question was is that attitude the official policy of Brownback's office.

I live in Kansas so he owes me a response. I know I know it won't do any good but I do have the right to bitch about this stuff.

Posted by: jim b at May 4, 2006 09:35 AM